On personal growth (and an update on my writing)

I've always loved New Year's. Personal growth is a necessary part of life, and what better symbol of deep reflection and conviction to change than New Year's? I know it's just a date and that there's no actual, literal difference between January 1st and January 2nd. But all things only have value and become precious when we ascribe meaning to them, right?

Although I could make resolutions on March 20th and set them into motion on March 21st (totally arbitrary dates picked here), all that really matters is strength of willpower. If I have more willpower on December 31st 2018—maybe even enough to pour effort into the wildest of ambitions—then it's important.

I've been mulling over what my resolutions will be this year. With pregnancy comes a lot of unknowns. The last half of this year, after the baby comes, is a stretch of time that might as well be shrouded in fog, for all I know of parenthood.

Pregnancy is also, sadly, limiting. As much as I would love to make workout goals for myself—wonderful, terrible mood-booster that exercise is—I can't do much of it. As much as I'd love to travel more (my forever resolution), when I so much as think about plane tickets, I see floating dollar signs representing money that could be put toward nursery furniture.

And I'm so TIRED. Some days I feel so void of energy that completing even routine tasks leaves me feeling resentful toward everything.

I'm having to be a bit more creative, but maybe, as a result, more introspective.

On a side note, I did end up scaling back my writing. It wasn't until the middle of my first trimester, though, since I was in the middle of a huge project. That span of time was... how do I put it? Trying. I was exhausted, sick, emotionally drained from my full-time job, and honestly? I just couldn't do it. It was a hard decision to make to start turning down jobs, but I had to. My mind and body have thanked me since.

The lesson learned here is I have limits. But then, doesn't everyone? Just because I have limits doesn't mean I can't fulfill the grandest of possibilities within them. Maybe I can't stay up half the night for my side hustle. But maybe I can pour my heart and soul into the writing that I can do. I definitely won't be going for another round of P90X anytime soon, but I can eat healthy and be more active than I've been so far in this pregnancy.

A few other ideas...

1. Be more grateful.

Building character traits is a great New Year's resolution because they can be worked on in so many different ways. I plan to reflect more on the many, many blessings Colin and I have, thanking God for them more often and practicing mindfulness for those days I find myself wanting.

2. Read (and write) more intentionally.

Books are a major form of self-care for me, but although I love my fantasy and sci-fi novels that get my imagination going, I need variety. This year I have a separate reading list to include books that inspire me to better myself. The Byline Bible by Susan Shapiro is high on that list. Brene Brown is always on my reading list, but this time a higher priority.

As for writing... Now that I have more free time, I plan to devote more of it to blogging.

3. Become more community-oriented.

Ugh, more activities? (< exactly the mindset that needs to change). I'm your classic, garden-variety introvert. I really, honestly do love people, and I love community. It's just so hard to remember that sometimes when it comes to actually setting foot out the door.

There's more floating around in my head, but who has time to write down all the things they want to accomplish in a year? The list would be so long, and so overwhelming. Simple ideas with honest intentions and personal value = the best resolutions.

Happy New Year!